 |
This stained glass window is not the same one as mentioned in
in the blog post, only a representation. I took this photo at
Seoul Theological Seminary, Bucheon South Korea |
When I was about 8 years old, my mom was the church
custodian and sometimes, I would go with her on Saturdays to help her
clean. She often referred to the little
country church as The House of God.
Polishing the gold-plated candlesticks and dusting wooden pews was a
wonderful task for me. For mom, it kept
me busy, but it allowed me to stay in the sanctuary. When I was done or sometimes while I was
dusting, I would sit in the silence and marvel at the stained-glass windows
lining the walls. I loved to be there,
in God’s House. It was quiet. It was holy.
As an 8 year old, I thought it holy.
Not the building but the space.
Looking back as I write this, I know it was holy because He was there
and I believed He was there. Even though
I could not explain it, as a kid, I naturally sensed His presence and being in
awe of it. The same reverence I sensed
in the sanctuary, I could sense in the countryside. Growing up on a farm, I could see God’s
handiwork in the stars, in the fields, in the flowers. In the wind, I could feel His holiness and I
could hear it as it blew through the leaves in the trees. As I grew up and as life got tough, the awe
and reverence slowly faded away. Or… did
I fade away? It was me. God does not change. He was. He is. He is to come. I know it sounds silly, but the awe I had as
an eight year old seems to be coming back, and that has revived joy unspeakable
in my heart.
The Bible says in Luke 18:17 “Truly I tell you, anyone who
will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter
it.” This verse always puzzled me. Does it mean to accept things without
question? Does it mean to be innocent? I am not sure what theologians would say, but
without even thinking about it, I knew what “the kingdom of God” meant as a
child sitting in the sanctuary. I just knew.
Through thinking and praying about recent events, coupled with an
amazing Bible class I am taking, finally, I “get it”. It is like my brain has stayed in the
present, but my heart made a quantum leap back in time. It’s the game changer for me. It’s not like I am suddenly living in a fairy
tale land now and everything is hunky-dory.
No, sadly, I still see the world in all its mess and madness, but I have
a vision of what it should be and the understanding of why it isn’t.
All of what I have written here reminds me of one of my
favorite hymns: Be Thou My Vision
“Be Thou my Vision, O
Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to
me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought,
by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy
presence my light”
grace and peace,
Beth
